Being in Love by Osho

Author:Osho
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9780307409881
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2008-12-27T16:00:00+00:00

SOUL MATES OR CELL MATES?

We are all living lives according to fictions, poetries, film stories. That has given humanity a wrong impression, the impression that when there is love everything will fit, that there will be no conflict. For centuries poets have been giving the idea that lovers are made for each other.

Nobody is made for anybody else. Everybody is different from everybody else. You may love a person without knowing that you love the person only because there is so much difference between you, so much distance. The distance is a challenge, the distance is an adventure; the distance makes the woman or the man worth getting hold of. But things as they appear from a distance are not the same when they come close.

When you are just courting a man or a woman, everything is beautiful, everything fits because both want everything to fit. Anything that does not fit is not allowed to surface; it is repressed in the unconscious. So lovers sitting on the beach looking at the moon do not know each other at all. The marriage is almost finished before the honeymoon is finished.

In the East where the tradition of arranged marriage is still followed, there is nothing like a honeymoon; they don’t give the chance for the marriage to be finished so soon. Couples go on living together and never feel that things are not fitting, that something is missing. There is no chance at all for that to happen. Husbands and wives do not choose for themselves; marriages are organized by the parents, by the astrologers, by all kinds of people except the two who are going to be married.

Even after they get married, the couple cannot see each other alone in the daylight, they can only meet each other deep in the darkness of the night. They live with their families, and those families are so big that they can talk only in whispers; fighting is out of the question. Throwing clothes will not work; no woman, no man in these traditional communities knows that clothes have to be thrown, otherwise what kind of love affair do you have? Or that plates have to be broken, or that you have to argue over each and every thing. You say one thing and the woman understands something else; she says something, you understand something else.

But in the modern marriages based on love affairs, there seems to be no communication. And it starts with the honeymoon, because there for the first time you are together twenty-four hours a day. Now you cannot pretend; you have to be real. You cannot act. When you live together you have to be real to the other person; you cannot hide, you cannot have any secrets. And we have been given the idea from our very childhood that between wife and husband there is always harmony, everything is always fitting, they are always together, always loving, no fight. That whole ideology is the problem.

I would like to tell you the truth.

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